Choosing a Therapist

Choosing a Therapist

Therapy, psychotherapy, or counseling – however you refer to it – is a wonderful thing. A beautiful process of unfoldment, opening up, growing and healing. It is a place of refuge and re-centering. It is a sacred space. It is a way of valuing yourself so much, that you actually put time and money into figuring out why you are Here and how to better be you. Unfortunately, like all things in life, it does not always go as it should. And most times it is because we are with the wrong therapist – either a therapist that is not good for us, though they might be good for someone else or a downright bad therapist. Know that, as well as some awesome therapist, there are some pretty bad ones out there. But don’t let a bad therapeutic experience turn you off therapy.

 

When we make a serious decision about going into therapy, we quickly realize that choosing a therapist is not an easy task. Therapy is a relationship and a very intimate one at that. Like any relationship, it needs chemistry, respect, and commitment as minimum requirements for it to have a good shot at being successful. So, it is important to put time, thought and consideration into going into such a relationship. Don’t just go for the first therapist you come into contact with, or the therapist your friend recommended. Do your homework, ‘interview’ a few and pay attention to how you feel when you are with each of them. Then go for the one you connect with or the one that feels right. Finances can complicate that choice, because, sometimes, the one you connect with is not necessarily the one you can afford. In those instances, it is good to pray and ask for guidance to find the best resolution.

 

The above are the external actions that you need to take to find the right therapist for you at the particular juncture of your life you find yourself in. But I want to also put in a word for intuition, for attuning to your inner guidance to find the right therapist. Here is an exercise that can help you do that, and it can be done before you begin calling perspective therapists.

 

Find a short window of time (10-15 minutes) where you can sit quietly without being interrupted. Have with you a piece of paper and something to write with. Quiet your mind by taking three deep breaths, inhaling slowly through your nose and exhaling slowly through your mouth. Make sure to release any stress you might be holding on to on each exhale. Ask yourself (you can write it down at the top of your paper) ‘what am I looking for/do I need in a therapist?’ With your mind relaxed, write down anything that comes to mind in list form. Keep going until nothing else comes up and don’t edit yourself. When you’re done read your list out loud and pay attention to how you feel as you hear yourself describe your future therapist. Add to your list anything new that comes up.

 

Once you have done this exercise you don’t have to think about it or come back to it. As you take external actions to find a therapist like calling around, searching online or going on initial sessions; you will recognize him or her when you come across them. Trust your intuition and go with that. And if it turns out down the line that your choice was not the best, know that you can respectfully end that relationship and look for a new one, now armed with some experience.

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3 days ago

Yema Ferreira

When was the last time you took yourself out on a date? Where would you go or what would you do if you did take yourself out on a date? What would feel absolutely delightful and indulgent? Can you give it to yourself? #SelfCareWednesday ... See MoreSee Less

When was the last time you took yourself out on a date? Where would you go or what would you do if you did take yourself out on a date? What would feel absolutely delightful and indulgent? Can you give it to yourself? #SelfCareWednesday

5 days ago

Yema Ferreira

Today I bring you a little prayer of gratitude for help in those difficult times, from Sonia Choquette's Uplifting Prayers to Light Your Way.

Holy Mother-Father-God,
Divine Loving Light and Heart of the Universe,

Thank you for lighting my way through the darkness and for keeping my heart open to your love and guidance. I feel your presence in my heart and in my bones, clearing and cleansing the old and making way for the new. I am grateful for your love.

Amen and with infinite gratitude.
#TGIM
... See MoreSee Less

Today I bring you a little prayer of gratitude for help in those difficult times, from Sonia Choquettes Uplifting Prayers to Light Your Way.

Holy Mother-Father-God,
Divine Loving Light and Heart of the Universe,

Thank you for lighting my way through the darkness and for keeping my heart open to your love and guidance. I feel your presence in my heart and in my bones, clearing and cleansing the old and making way for the new. I am grateful for your love.

Amen and with infinite gratitude.
#TGIM
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Twitter

Self-awareness is the first step to meaningful change. Are you highly sensitive? What does that mean for your mental health? What does it mean for who you want to be in the world?
https://t.co/GsUxfS1ZKN

"Those of us who are healers in these modern times and contexts... are reduced to going about it in the only conventionally acceptable way: getting a Western education as doctors, nurses, psychologists, psychotherapists and other helping professions."

Yema Ferreira on Twitter

“What is a therapist anyway? In today's blog post I offer one perspective. #Healing https://t.co/5b7cZZSWWa”

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